Going through the blog make me realise that everything hurts. The past is good place to visit but not to stay. I really hated how I felt through all the experience and to justify it because "I did it first" didn't do shit towards I felt.

It's sad but I forgot a lot of details that I swore I would remember when I grow out of the pain, however painful it is. But I still remember the feeling I had for her. How devastated I was when she ended things, how hurt I was when she got together with a friend of mine, breaking the promise that she claimed she will keep. Life has a bizarre way of kicking you in the nuts when you are down. 

But all that is for nothing because I met the love of my life Jonah a year later. I love her and she loves me however begrudgingly difficult it is for her because we are together. I am still a broken person and my diagnosis got even worse than my previous bout with depression but with the support of Jonah and her TLC makes me face my problems head on (Or whatever nonsense I tell myself as a lie)

It's dark, very dark at the start of the tunnel, but eventually there is light at the other end of the tunnel I guess.

Lastly, the love of my life, my mother has passed. Rest in peace and I miss you. Dearly.