I went trying to be so strong But the number of breakdowns was uncountable But I am Hurt, it's painful . But I don't want to create more pain. The hurt will still be there until I am numb to it, my friends and family will be here with me. I can't shortchange myself, that is for myself firSt, then for them . Admit it: I forgive you, I forgive him and This is so hard But I forgive myself. I admit , things wouldn't change . And no matter how upset or painful this is , I accept it. It is never easy. I don't even know how to walk out of this , maybe I won't anytime soon. Maybe I will get numb to it. But I need to start moving on. Who am I kidding? As much as I love you, I need to love myself first. Never would I expect my phone to have 400+ photos with you. The 5 months , 167 days were the most beautiful I had, even in my depression. I never know how much I can love someone , how much I can go for and give up and believe. But my sickness brought out a really ugly side of me that was hiding deep within. I don't know how to move on, no one thought me before . I don't know how but: Blessing and happiness I wish for you ! And for myself. It's ok to be weak. I won't lie to myself and be strong outwardly anymore . Find yourself again.


Lalalalala