But if you are happy , I am really happy. it didn't help that you were so.cold.and.just trying to run away . And to pass me the photo from the crystal ball. and to.reject thre gift . But I Understand why. Hope I didn't make it too hard on you. be strong Andrian.........for yourself . I wasn't good enough for her , i didn't try hard enough . It was my.fault, for always saying.the wrong things and not being able to.make choices t That was.againts my mind. I wish I was selfish enough in December, to have told you when you were in Thailand , buyt I really want you to enjoy. yourself after all thre hardship on you . I wish when you came back on Friday i went down and pick you up and tell you about my thoughts instead of letting you tell me not to. I wish I was selfish enough to ask you come down on Saturday even though you were tired from Thailand and.preparing for batam and stopping.me.from whatever was.raging on.in.my head. Thank you. I am so horrible and yet you stayed that long. I wish I could.make you stay again but now.that.you haveve a.boyfriend I know that it is hard for you. I also don't want someone else to experiencce my pain. I also don't want to make it difficult for you. I will just disappear. I think everyone will like it.


Lalalalala