I hate sms/calling or talking to someone on the internet or phone.

Because I hate the constant feeling that you are taking up their time or disturbing them when they are doing something important.

Or that I am a nuisance. Or annoying. Or both . Or just plain stupid. Or whatever. Or playing with them. Or disrupting their attention. Or making them more stressed than what they are. Or making them feel very uncomfortable. Or that I am giving them a wrong impression. Or that they think I have an ulterior motive. Or I am doing going to do something bad to them.

And the list goes on....


That's one reason why I dont like to sms or call or talk to people, not even on facebook or msn.


And it so hard to overcome this barrier some time , and if I can't find a justified reason to talk to someone ,even if I want to talk to someone super badly, I won't.

Even if the person is like my super close friend or best friend.


I hate the ideal or notion that oneself can be annoying to someone even when you dont meet the person physically.


AND IT'S SO HARD TO ACTUALLY TO TALK TO SOMEONE! UNLESS THERE'S REAL DEFINITE REASONS! EVEN IF THERE IS, I STILL FIND IT EXTREMELY HARD. I CAN'T HELP IT! NOR DO I WANT TO FEEL THAT WAY! EVEN IF I REALLY HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE OR HAVE STRONG MORAL FORCES TELLING ME TO TALK TO THAT PERSON OR BEING, I CAN'T DO IT!SO I JUST HOPE THE PERSON TALKS TO ME BUT USUALLY THEY DONT. SO IT'S KINDA STUPID. THEN AGAIN, IF YOU TALK TO SOMEONE, YOU ARE AFRAID THAT EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL BE ANNOYING TO THE PERSON. THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE FOR YOU TO START TALKING TO SOMEONE! THAT'S LIKE HAVING TWO COGNITIVE, WHICH CONTRADICTS EACH OTHER AND THAT'S NOT HELPING MY PLIGHT ANYWHERE. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


ok I am going insane here. Better stop before I go overly crazy.

It feels like sometime you become so tied down by all this that it gets to your head.

LET IT GO!!!


Lalalalala